Everyone is feeling some degree of anxiety and uncertainty about what will happen next in regard to COVID-19. Some people are feeling cabin fever, others are afraid that they might lose their jobs, or experience salary cuts. All feelings during this time are valid and expected because none of us have every experienced something like this before. A global pandemic of this scale has never happened in our lifetime and may never happen again in our lifetime. However, how we get through this time will mainly depend on our mindset, says Dr. Saliha Afridi.
How to keep an optimistic mindset
- Be aware and mindful of the story you are telling yourself and others. Are you in lockdown and self-isolation or are you staying indoors and keeping safe? Are you socially distant from others or are you keeping 2m apart when you go out? The language we use will have a direct impact on the energy that is released in your body. Words like self-isolation, social distancing, quarantine, lockdown, crisis are very triggering words and will put you in a fight or flight response. They will also make this experience very negative for you and your family. So, choose your experience by changing your language and perception.
- It is okay to not be positive, but be optimistic. Often times we start to deny or invalidate our emotions for the sake of remaining positive. But when we do this, they tend to remain inside of us and bother us. It is better to name your difficult emotions and then choose to remain hopeful and grateful. So, you can say “I feel worried about how any more weeks I will be at home. I feel sad that I am not able to be with my friends and family. And I am grateful for being safe and comfortable because there are many who are not in the same position.” This way you maintain your optimism, hope, and gratitude while acknowledging that this is a difficult experience for you.
- Create some space for difficult feelings. Human beings are wired in a way that if we have a problem, we feel we have to fix it. This is great when we have a problem that is fixable, however, often times even difficult feelings are seen as problems we have to fix. There will be many times when you cannot get rid of your concern, sadness, worry, or grief. Instead of trying to get rid of it, or fighting it, which just keeps you more engaged with the feeling, try making some space for it. The mantra you can say is “soft front, strong back” which basically allows you to soften into the feeling, breathe it out, and then release it rather than resisting it. If you do not feed the story behind the emotion, it typically takes 90 seconds for the chemical reactions of the emotion to start and finish. So, soften into the feeling and release it and then focus on an emotion you do want more of, such as gratitude.
- Be compassionate to yourself and others. Self-compassion is going to be important during this time because perfectionism and high expectations from yourself are going to really get in the way of your peace of mind. Yes, you should have expectations of yourself to bring your best self to the day and to your routine, but is your best self capable of making changes from day to day? So, check-in with yourself and ask yourself what do I need right now? Also, show compassion for others. If others are disappointing you or not able to give you what you need, remind yourself that everyone deals with struggles and suffering differently. Ask yourself, what can I do for others that might alleviate their suffering, because when we are other-focused, our anxious and depressive symptoms tend to subside.
- Use this time to get to know yourself. Pre-COVID-19 we were all complaining about being so busy and not having enough time to “be” because we were ‘doing’ so much. I don’t suggest you overload yourself with classes and activities online, because you would fall into the same trap you were in before we were asked to be indoors; instead make some time and space to use this opportunity for you to befriend yourself and to get to know yourself outside of the hyper-productive person that you are used to being. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone is an external state, while being lonely is an internal state. Those who enjoy their own company, who can spend time with themselves and their thoughts tend to be less lonely. So, sit, listen, spend time alone. Talk to yourself, and ask yourself about your values, your fears, your reactions, your strengths? What are your aspirations, goals, dreams and passions? This time will never come again, and wouldn’t it be great if you could come out of this with a stronger sense of self and a healthier relationship with yourself?
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Dr. Saliha Afridi, PsyD. (US)
Clinical Psychologist
E. drsafridi@lighthousearabia.com
E. info@lighthousearabia.com
www. lighthousearabia.com