The brain, mind and body are inexorably connected, and stress or trauma harm us through physiological changes to body and brain, and that those harms can persist throughout life, says Shivani Adalja.
I once had a client who suffered from a severe back ache for years. She had done x-ray, MRI and had been to umpteen number of doctors. But no one was ever able to find the cause of what was wrong with her. She had been on pain killers for years and somehow her back never seemed to get better. She was a successful entrepreneur with her whole life ahead of her. But somehow this one problem was pulling her down and she had no idea why.
We met by chance in a conference where we both were speakers. As luck would have it, we were seated right next to each other and got talking. I saw her move uncomfortably in her chair for hours as her back was acting up again. After the conference she confided in me that she was at her wits end and wanted this pain to stop. I invited her for a chat, and we got down to business right away. When I got her to relax under meditation to talk about her life journey, I realized she had a very tough childhood. Her parents got divorced, when she was five years old, she was physically abused, and she was lonely. She spent her childhood and teenage years struggling to survive and make peace with herself. Once she went to collage things improved and she went on to get an MBA from an ivy league university as it was her ticket to a new life. Things got better then on. She met a great guy, fell in love, got married, set up her business but somewhere deep down she was unable to cut the cord with her past. That is when her back pain surfaced.
On a deeper level, her body had functioned under stress for so long that it was now struggling to survive under normal circumstances. Her cellular memory remembered all the events that had hurt her, but her mind had moved on to greener pastures. Somewhere in between these two different lives her body was breaking down telling her to let go of the past pain. Her inability to do so manifested in constant pain. Her husband was able to convince her to see therapist and within few months her pain had reduced considerably.
Any kind of recurring medical condition needs to be checked by a doctor. But at the same time, relook at your life and see when did this condition pop up? Was it an event? Or a person who triggered it? Or the condition flares up from time to time due to stress?
You may have moved on from a traumatic event or past. But your body remembers. And for your to be happy and healthy, you must learn to forgive yourself, forgive others and move on in life.